Why BDSM and not Vanilla.
by Richard Wolf on Monday, August 15, 2011 at 3:39pm
Just
reading an old bestseller .. called "Games People Play" by Dr. Eric
Berne He mentions the fact that infants who are not "stroked" will
eventually die. Then he goes on to mention that this phenomenon exists
in adults too. If we are not 'stroked' (receive some intimacy) over a
long period of time we suffer from "intimacy hunger" or "intimacy
starvation". He claims that this need can evolve in various ways . Some
people need attention at any cost. Some people become very rebellious.
All people require "transactions". Transactions can differ widely. The
principle that emerges is that any "transaction" is superior to no
transaction at all. Experiments show that "gentle handling and electric
shocks were equally effective in promoting the health of animals"
Can you see what I see in the direction this could take. He doesnt say it .. they didnt have the guts or the experience back in the 1970s but he hints that things like rough sex and sado-masochistic behavior may be very effective in meeting some peoples very real NEED to be stroked. He suggests that intimacy starvation may occur as an infant, a child or an adult but that the solution requires much stronger stimulus than if no intimacy starvation had ever happened. .... Hmmm very interesting. Many people have asked me and I have asked the question myself .. why do we gravitate to BDSM. .. I wonder if this has something to do with it.
Too .. evolutionary psychology approaches this with the attitude that it is a natural instinctual behavior that is survival oriented. Males are dominant to control as many females as possible. Females are submissive to survive aggressive males. Those that learn to love it .. survive better. ..And cross wiring is not infrequent ..(may be present in all of us) because of the genetic mixing.
Max.
What do you think?
Can you see what I see in the direction this could take. He doesnt say it .. they didnt have the guts or the experience back in the 1970s but he hints that things like rough sex and sado-masochistic behavior may be very effective in meeting some peoples very real NEED to be stroked. He suggests that intimacy starvation may occur as an infant, a child or an adult but that the solution requires much stronger stimulus than if no intimacy starvation had ever happened. .... Hmmm very interesting. Many people have asked me and I have asked the question myself .. why do we gravitate to BDSM. .. I wonder if this has something to do with it.
Too .. evolutionary psychology approaches this with the attitude that it is a natural instinctual behavior that is survival oriented. Males are dominant to control as many females as possible. Females are submissive to survive aggressive males. Those that learn to love it .. survive better. ..And cross wiring is not infrequent ..(may be present in all of us) because of the genetic mixing.
Max.
What do you think?
Wow a different take on things..but I think you maybe on to something...It is the same principal that states a child who is not receiving any attention or minimum attention when it is good will act out or exhibit bad behavior to gain the attenion he/she needs...We all male and female have our natural tendancies, but what happens to us from childhood on effects who we are, how we process things, and how we gain the strokes...how about calling it what it is affection that we need...thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteVery nice. I think that no matter the extent of the strokes, we all crave it even more. As we get older, our inhibitions relax and exploration extends farther. We test how far we go in receiving those strokes. Any 'stroke' is better than none. Very insightful. I like it.
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